Becoming a Better Leader Part 2: Building Trust Through Understanding

Trust is the foundation of effective leadership. Yet in many organizations, trust remains elusive—especially between technology and business teams. How can leaders build the deep trust needed for true collaboration and high performance? The answer starts with understanding.

The Trust Gap

Many organizations struggle with what Gene Kim and Dr. Steven J. Spear call “fraught or transactional relationships” between different parts of the organization. Technology leaders view business leaders as focused only on short-term gains, while business leaders see technology teams as slow and inflexible. This mutual distrust creates a vicious cycle that undermines performance.

Breaking Down Historical Barriers

As Mark Schwartz explains in A Seat at the Table, many trust issues stem from treating IT as an arms-length service provider rather than an integral part of the business. “IT and the business” became separate entities, with formal processes and controls replacing trust. Building true trust requires breaking down this historical divide and creating shared ownership of outcomes.

Rather than just understanding each other better, teams need to move beyond the customer-provider relationship to true partnership. This means:

• Sharing responsibility for business results
• Breaking down artificial organizational boundaries
• Reducing bureaucratic controls that signal distrust
• Creating opportunities for informal collaboration

This historical context also explains why building trust can be so challenging. Afterall, we’re working against decades of ingrained organizational patterns and assumptions.

Start with Understanding

The first step in building trust is demonstrating genuine understanding. As Jeffrey Fredrick and coauthors explain in the guidance paper “Winning Together: A Playbook for Aligning Technology & Business,” leaders must first understand the world from their counterparts’ perspective. This means going beyond surface-level discussions to really grasp:

• The business context and competitive landscape
• The pressures and constraints others operate under
• The metrics and outcomes that matter to them
• Their hopes, fears, and motivations

The goal isn’t to judge or correct others’ perspectives but to truly understand them. You know you’ve succeeded when your counterpart responds with “that’s right” when you reflect their understanding back to them.

Creating Psychological Safety

Gene Kim and Dr. Steven J. Spear provide a compelling example of how psychological safety enables high performance in Wiring the Winning Organization. Even in high-stakes situations—like when a student pilot lost her landing gear—creating an environment where people feel safe to speak up and make mistakes is crucial for success.

Leaders build psychological safety by:

1. Modeling vulnerability and admitting mistakes
2. Responding to problems with curiosity rather than blame
3. Actively encouraging diverse perspectives
4. Protecting team members who raise concerns

The Power of Active Listening

One of the most powerful tools for building understanding is active listening. This means:

• Going beyond just hearing words to understand underlying meanings and emotions. When a business partner expresses frustration about delivery timelines, they may really be worried about meeting customer commitments or market opportunities.
• Asking questions from genuine curiosity. As Steve Pereira and Andrew Davis suggest in Flow Engineering, questions like “Help me understand what you’re trying to achieve.” open up much more productive conversations than defensive responses.
• Reflecting back what you’ve heard to confirm your understanding. This isn’t just repeating words. It’s demonstrating that you grasp both facts and feelings.

Having Difficult Conversations

Trust is built not just in easy moments, but in how we handle difficult conversations. The authors of “Winning Together” suggest several key practices:

• Make it safe to disagree by establishing shared goals first. Before diving into areas of conflict, align on what you’re both trying to achieve.
• Focus on learning rather than winning. Frame differences as opportunities to gain new insights rather than battles to be won.
• Address problems early while they’re still small. Don’t wait for issues to become crises before discussing them.

Measuring Trust Through Actions

How do you know if you’re successfully building trust? Look for these indicators:

• Do people bring you problems early or hide them until they’re critical?
• Are different perspectives actively shared in meetings?
• Do teams collaborate effectively across organizational boundaries?
• Is information shared openly and transparently?

Creating Sustainable Trust

Building trust isn’t a one-time event. It requires ongoing attention and care. Transformational leadership, as presented in the paper of the same name, emphasizes that leaders must consistently demonstrate:

• Vision: Clearly communicating where you’re going and why.
• Intellectual Stimulation: Encouraging new thinking and approaches.
• Supportive Leadership: Showing genuine care for others.
• Personal Recognition: Acknowledging and celebrating contributions.
• Inspirational Communication: Inspires passion and motivation; encourages people to see that change brings opportunities.

Moving Forward

Building trust through understanding takes time and sustained effort. Start with these practical steps:

1. Schedule regular one-on-ones focused purely on understanding others’ perspectives
2. Practice active listening in every interaction
3. Share your own challenges and vulnerabilities
4. Follow through on commitments, no matter how small

Up Next

In our next post, we’ll explore how leaders can enable flow and remove obstacles once they’ve established a foundation of trust. We’ll look at practical ways to identify and address systemic barriers to performance.

Remember: Trust begins with understanding. Take time to truly understand others’ perspectives, demonstrate that understanding through your actions, and create an environment where trust can flourish.

- About The Authors

Leah Brown

Managing Editor at IT Revolution working on publishing books and guidance papers for the modern business leader. I also oversee the production of the IT Revolution blog, combining the best of responsible, human-centered content with the assistance of AI tools.

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